Syndicate

Just act casual. No one will suspect a thing.Let's face it. Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler were never really an item. They have/had a movie to promote and that's the Spinster's MO - play it up with a co-star (or paid escort) for the premieres then let him off the leash. They probably threw him a bone for macking it up the way they did. Since a brief and cordial vacation in Mexico they haven't been spotted together.

That's not to say that the Scottish cocksman has been idle. Big dogs, little dogs, short dogs, tall dogs, Gerry's got a leash to fit them all. He looks to be following in the footsteps of Mickey Rourke, who recently bragged of bedding more than a dozen women a night. Butler does appear to have better taste than Rourke, though. According to Hollywood Life, Gerry and Madge got it on at a private Oscars after-party. They didn't leave together, but that doesn't mean anything. They could have met up in the parking lot for a little heel-sit-stay action. I'm sure he brought his muzzle. All good dogwalkers come prepared.

Will anything come of this unusual but saucy pairing? Probably not. Baby Jesus is still buzzing around (and probably still on the payroll) and Butler has said that he won't be ready to marry for another 20, 30 years. Of course by then he'll probably look like Ed Asner, but by then we'll all be over him, too. It all works out.

Or nausea - you decide. They even sport matching rat's nests and combat boots. Simply adorable.

God, I really need a bath These two have been a couple for a while now, and seem to be going strong. Then again, you probably wouldn't read much about them because no one cares. And that's just fine with them.

Tim and Helena have made it their mission to be as fugly attired as humanly possible. I think they feel that if the powers that be force them to attend these dreadful premieres, they'll simply put on a bunch of rags, roll each other around in the dirt and hop in the car. No makeup artists, no stylists - that would simply spoil the fun.

Tim is a talented director, and Helena was once lauded as the next big thing, although I think she missed that boat. Plus she's starred in some of the most dreadful movies a person could be scarred by. Regardless of career opportunities, they do seem to be quite happy together. All they need are some adoption papers and a few humanitarian missions, and they could be on the front page all the time. Wouldn't that be just glorious?