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I guess pink's better than orange any day, right? OK, seriously, Pink Taco is the name of the restaurant chain that Harry Morton's family runs. Get your minds out of the gutter, people. Then again, the Spinster's all oompa-loompa, too, so maybe he likes 'em orange. There's just no accounting for taste.

Ahh, but we all know taste has nothing to do with the men Maniston dates. Their fees are probably pro-rated by the amount of publicity they can generate. Over the last month her spin doctors have been planting rumors about her dating all kinds of guys, married, single and imaginary, to try to get suckers into the theaters to watch her latest loserHarry the hottie: Is he broke? flick. Even the mention of John Mayer possibly coming in for a nostalgia f**k failed to rouse the public's interest.

Enter the sweet young thang that is Harry Morton - I thought he was hot when Lindsay had him. Then Kimberly Stewart tried to abduct him and eat his brains for a while, but he somehow managed to escape and he's been living a quieter life since then. At least until now. If he becomes Jen's latest rent-a-date he can kiss that quieter life behind ... at least until his contract runs out. Then, like the others before him, he'll scamper off into the sunset with a case of Smart Water and the memories of their magical time together. I wonder if she'll make him put out. I know I would.

Just act casual. No one will suspect a thing.Let's face it. Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler were never really an item. They have/had a movie to promote and that's the Spinster's MO - play it up with a co-star (or paid escort) for the premieres then let him off the leash. They probably threw him a bone for macking it up the way they did. Since a brief and cordial vacation in Mexico they haven't been spotted together.

That's not to say that the Scottish cocksman has been idle. Big dogs, little dogs, short dogs, tall dogs, Gerry's got a leash to fit them all. He looks to be following in the footsteps of Mickey Rourke, who recently bragged of bedding more than a dozen women a night. Butler does appear to have better taste than Rourke, though. According to Hollywood Life, Gerry and Madge got it on at a private Oscars after-party. They didn't leave together, but that doesn't mean anything. They could have met up in the parking lot for a little heel-sit-stay action. I'm sure he brought his muzzle. All good dogwalkers come prepared.

Will anything come of this unusual but saucy pairing? Probably not. Baby Jesus is still buzzing around (and probably still on the payroll) and Butler has said that he won't be ready to marry for another 20, 30 years. Of course by then he'll probably look like Ed Asner, but by then we'll all be over him, too. It all works out.

Come over for coffee! Please?It's like spinster feng shui. What was originally planned as his-and-hers bathrooms are now hers and a spa and soaking tub room. After slumming around with man whores like John Mayer and Gerard Butler, I bet that ol' soakin' tub comes in handy.

The great American spinster unveiled her remodeled home to Architectural Digest, probably because she knows Brad reads it all the time. In the article she says her house is like a "big hug - a Zen-like hug that's free of the scent of manliness", but this story, her house and everything else in her life just screams lonely, lonely, lonely to me.

Maybe she's hoping to change all that by opening her home for this feature. Courtney and David are really tired of being her only friends, and with a possible baby on the way they need some time to themselves. Don't worry about Jen, though. As long as she's got a movie to promote she'll have a man on her arm, and she's got Norman to tuck her in at night. Aww, who are we kidding? You know what that soaking tub is really for - she's given up burning baby dolls on the beach. Too smelly, too public. Now she drowns them in the tub. One. At. A. Time.

What's she got that I don't?Someone's working really hard for Bradley Cooper. Have you noticed that his name is in the media a lot more lately? Even his latest dates are just huge cries for attention. Just last week he was spotted out with Jennifer Aniston. The tabloids went wild, her publicist didn't bother to deny anything, and everyone kinda held their breath for a minute: Could this finally be the one for the Great American Spinster? Alas, no. He's just a friend. He even says so. (If she had any hopes of bagging that one she can just hang it up.)

Bradley's sure not hanging it up, though. Still glowing from all those flashbulbs, he jumped right into another hot date, this time with good ol' Squinty, Renee Zellweger, another perennial loner. According to OK!, the pair was seen having a romantic dinner Tuesday night on the Upper East Side. Witnesses said she even picked up the tab! Good times!

Is there any future to this? It's hard to say. Since her awkward quickie marriage and divorce to that Chesney guy she's learned to keep a much lower profile romantically. She was seen out with Paul McCartney a couple times but he seems to have settled down with Nancy Shevell so she lost out on that one. Is she even looking? Possibly, but she'd never let on. Unlike other spinsters, she doesn't crave the attention so badly.

Look at my ass!Although such exhibitionism is grossly inappropriate for a book signing, no one said a word in protest. It was infinitely better than looking at the other end of her, all dead eyes and spray tan.

Is this the woman who called Martha a loser because she put her career before love? Martha may not be perfect, but she sure as hell never flashed her ass to a mob of reporters - not even when she was sentenced to jail. Martha kept her head high and her skirts down. Bethenny should learn to do the same.

Perhaps Bethenny will claim this was some kind of a wardrobe malfunction. You know, she had her big girl bloomers on but her assistant took them when she wasn't looking. Was she on something? She doesn't have that pinched, stressed look on her face. Maybe she's happier with her ass in the breeze.