Syndicate

No, sillies, that's NOT Anna in the pictureSay what you will about Anna Wintour, but there's a reason she's been at the helm of Vogue for a 30-some-odd years. Nobody knows style better, and nobody can see through a poseur faster than Anna.

Anna was on Jimmy Kimmel the other night and talked about her encounter with the talented yet ridiculously overwrought Gaga at her annual Costume Institute Gala. She found Gaga backstage "praying to God to let her start the performance." Anna, famous for her inability to suffer a food, gladly or otherwise, gave Jimmy the ol' "BITCH, PLEASE" eye-roll as she told the story, too. Priceless. Who knows? Maybe Gaga's wackiness stems from her "occasional" cocaine use. Everybody knows that powder will make you crazy.

I think Lady Gaga should worry more about her music and less about her elaborate costumes and epic performance pieces. Already her songs are kinda sounding the same. People often compare Gaga to Madonna, but Madge would completely reinvent herself every couple of years, with all new looks and completely different music. I think Gaga is more smoke and mirrors; she would do well to take a few pages from Madge's playbook instead of trying to outdo her. It'll never happen. Shit, Madge's 14-year-old daughter Lourdes has more style in her little finger than Gaga has in her entire closet.

Paulina back in the dayPaulina is cooler than cool. One of the biggest supermodels of the 80s, Paulina married Ric Ocasek, lead singer of The Cars, one of the biggest bands of the time. They're still happily married. She's in her 40s now and still naturally stunning and apparently has no tolerance for those women (young and old) who've chosen to go under the knife to improve their appearance. She saved her best for Plastic Heidi, calling her a "cheap plastic pool float". Ouch! tee hee

She was no kinder when talking about Granny Gristle herself, the Mighty Madge. Paulina says Madonna went from a cute, kinda hairy Italian chick to a "cool Nordic blond ... who cannot frown." She even threw her two cents' worth in about Kate Hudson and her alleged mini-boob job, saying it made her look like just another California blond. That one's kinda iffy - Kate is a California blond, but whatever. The point was still made, and made well.

Just act casual. No one will suspect a thing.Let's face it. Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler were never really an item. They have/had a movie to promote and that's the Spinster's MO - play it up with a co-star (or paid escort) for the premieres then let him off the leash. They probably threw him a bone for macking it up the way they did. Since a brief and cordial vacation in Mexico they haven't been spotted together.

That's not to say that the Scottish cocksman has been idle. Big dogs, little dogs, short dogs, tall dogs, Gerry's got a leash to fit them all. He looks to be following in the footsteps of Mickey Rourke, who recently bragged of bedding more than a dozen women a night. Butler does appear to have better taste than Rourke, though. According to Hollywood Life, Gerry and Madge got it on at a private Oscars after-party. They didn't leave together, but that doesn't mean anything. They could have met up in the parking lot for a little heel-sit-stay action. I'm sure he brought his muzzle. All good dogwalkers come prepared.

Will anything come of this unusual but saucy pairing? Probably not. Baby Jesus is still buzzing around (and probably still on the payroll) and Butler has said that he won't be ready to marry for another 20, 30 years. Of course by then he'll probably look like Ed Asner, but by then we'll all be over him, too. It all works out.

But she has boobies!Now there's one I hadn't even thought about. I thought Madge and the Stray Rod were history once she found her baby Jesus, but ya never know.

Today's NY Daily News reports that Kate dumped her self-absorbed baseball star because he wouldn't cut ties with Madonna. Kate was allegedly "mad with jealousy," and broke things off rather than feel like the other woman.

This really doesn't surprise me. Kate is used to Slap Chopping through lovers at will; she's not about to play second fiddle to anyone. There are even reports that she's been spotted hovering around Owen Wilson again. I hope for his sake he runs for the hills.

GlambertLet me get this straight. They canceled the Glambert's appearance because they were afraid he'd grab another dick but they let this violent convicted felon go on? That's f**ked up, people.

Today's Page Six leads off with the story of Good Morning America's decision to book the punk bitch who beat his girlfriend for an interview and possible live performance. This has enraged both the gays and feminists who see a double standard at work here. Glambert didn't break any laws - he just got a little frisky. Inside sources at ABC claim their decisions had nothing to do with Lambert's in-your-face homosexuality, but that he had proven himself "unpredictable" for live TV.

At first I ignored the whole brouhaha over Lambert's AMA performance. After all, what difference is there between that and Madonna kissing Britney at the VMAs, or any other gay kiss that's been on TV lately? But to hear they'd book Beat-Her-Down Brown over someone who hasn't done anything wrong? I'll never watch that show again.