Syndicate

courtesy TMZWell. Uh, it's good to see her making good use of her time now that she's between jobs. Oh, who are we kidding here? Mischa's escapades with substance abuse, her difficult and demanding on-set behavior and the fact that anything she touches turns to shit, have all combined made her unemployable. It would be one thing if she was a slug until the camera rolled and then turned on the charm, but this bitch just doesn't put out, a total waste of time and effort.

So mushy Mischa has a lot of time on her hands these days. The phone is not ringing, and maybe her agent isn't even returning her calls anymore. With no job and no man in her life, Mischa has turned to the chronic for solace. That in and of itself is not necessarily a bad thing, but not while you're out driving around - that's not only stupid and dangerous, it's illegal. You'd think that someone who earned a DUI less than two years ago would know this, but no one ever accused Mischa of being smart.

Will Mischa face any repercussions for toking behind the wheel and being captured on film? Maybe she's still on probation for the DUI - I assume if she's driving they gave her license back. Either way, this isn't the first time Mischa has been snapped blowing a doobie on the side of the road. Girlfriend needs to schedule her chronic for when she's off the road, but I guess her parents wouldn't appreciate that. It was different when she was paying all the bills, but now she's just a deadbeat stoner and her parents are probably supporting her grown ass. Maybe she can get a job with Burlington Coat Factory - she looked right at home in their duds.

But I'm a profeshionalIt wasn't such a big deal, just seven lines. That's like breakfast to Mischa. And everyone kept wondering why, when they said, "Your line, Mischa," she'd run back to her trailer.

Seriously, Mischa's little dramatic turn as a knocked-up streetwalker on Law & Order:SVU is not going to get her any new jobs. I actually wondered how she got this gig, since her reputation for being a stuck-up little bitch and unprepared for her roles is so well-known. Numerous sources say that Mischa's little seven-line scene took an entire ten-hour day to film. The cast and crew were ready to push her in front of a speeding bus.

So what's the deal with Mischa? Is it the drugs and alcohol again? She has looked rather bleary-eyed lately, and she's certainly bloating like a puffer fish. I'd say she needs to get her shit together, but ya know what? I'm sick of saying it. Bitch needs to pack up and drag her sorry ass home. We're kinda sick of the whole thing.

That coat seems to be heavily padded in the rearYou know, because they're more than just coats, like the commercial says, and for us working-class joes, it's fine. But for a girl who only two years ago had the world's finest designers begging her to wear their duds, it's a bitter, bitter pill.

Mischa has gone from hot young starlet to bloated, haggard drunktard in the blink of an eye. She's been hospitalized at least twice for over-indulging in illicit substances. She's had a DUI. And her once promising career is busted down broke on the side of the highway and no one gives a shit enough to give it a push. Maybe if Mischa had been a more gracious ingenue she would have had someone to turn to in times of trouble, but she was a snotty little bitch and she has become erratic and unreliable because of her substance abuse problems.

And now she's been photographed carrying shopping bags from a low-to-mid range family outlet store. Oh, the shame! I'm curious - did she actually shop there because she had to, or did they just give her a bag to be seen with? Hey, a girl's gotta feed her habit any way she can.

I feel more washed out than washed upAs much as I've always enjoyed trashing Mischa, I actually almost feel sorry for her. Things are just not going her way.

Still reeling from the mercifully quick death of her Beautiful Life, the perennial underachiever is said to be scared that she's all washed up at 23. It's made her a little edgy and rather irritable as well. When told by her mother that her comeback show was over after only two episodes, she was said to collapse into tears - until her mom said to get over it (well, kinda ... she said it wasn't the end of the world). She quickly went from a sobbing mess to a screaming witch, saying it wasn't her fault they didn't promote the show or keep it on longer. Not true on both counts. They did promote it but they had to yank it because it sucked. Especially you, Mischa. Especially you. You couldn't open a can of creamed corn. Better apologize to your mother - you might be forced to call on her kindness in the days and years to come, when your acting career becomes one of those things you did when you were younger.

Drink? What drink?Someone better tell Mischa she's not on the left coast anymore. New York is so not Hollywood, and desperate attention-seeking behavior is frowned upon, to say the least.

Mischa's been hitting the gym to get rid of all that coke bloat now that she's got a steady TV gig again. She's become a regular at an Equinox down in SoHo, but she's not winning any popularity contests with her bimbo act: She pretends to not know what she's doing so she can have her own personal trainer the entire time she's there. She's also obsessed with staring at herself in the mirror or any other shiny surface. Sad, bloated little hag actually thinks she looks anything but sad, bloated or haggard.

And it's no wonder, considering she hasn't been able to keep off the sauce. A couple of weeks ago Mischa was at Cooper Square, where bystanders saw her "hiding her drink under the table so no one would see it, she looked like such a mess and was stumbling around the hotel." How long will it be before Mischa drinks herself out of a job?