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I guess pink's better than orange any day, right? OK, seriously, Pink Taco is the name of the restaurant chain that Harry Morton's family runs. Get your minds out of the gutter, people. Then again, the Spinster's all oompa-loompa, too, so maybe he likes 'em orange. There's just no accounting for taste.

Ahh, but we all know taste has nothing to do with the men Maniston dates. Their fees are probably pro-rated by the amount of publicity they can generate. Over the last month her spin doctors have been planting rumors about her dating all kinds of guys, married, single and imaginary, to try to get suckers into the theaters to watch her latest loserHarry the hottie: Is he broke? flick. Even the mention of John Mayer possibly coming in for a nostalgia f**k failed to rouse the public's interest.

Enter the sweet young thang that is Harry Morton - I thought he was hot when Lindsay had him. Then Kimberly Stewart tried to abduct him and eat his brains for a while, but he somehow managed to escape and he's been living a quieter life since then. At least until now. If he becomes Jen's latest rent-a-date he can kiss that quieter life behind ... at least until his contract runs out. Then, like the others before him, he'll scamper off into the sunset with a case of Smart Water and the memories of their magical time together. I wonder if she'll make him put out. I know I would.

There must be a better wayOh, no, she didn't! Well, probably not, but she must have a movie coming out soon, because the Huvane-ity (publicist-driven rumor campaign) is cranking up again, and this time no one is safe. Not even happily married men she's been friends with for years.

In the last week alone the Great American Spinster has been linked to at least three men, each candidate more ridiculous than the last. It's like, "Aww, gimme a break, for cryin' out loud!" Everyone knows she has to pay for her dates/red carpet escorts. And she must pay very well, because they always drop out of sight for a half a year or so. They're either emotionally traumatized or they can suddenly afford an extended vacation.

But I dunno about her falling for a married guy, especially someone who's been a friend for as long as Paul Rudd, the alleged object of her "secret love". I'm not terribly fond of the manly actress, but I think she's got more sense than that. Huvane will have to do better that that if he expects to make his client a box office draw using imaginary boyfriends as opposed to her acting ability. Apparently both are nonexistent.

I'll not be walkin' that dog, bitchesOh, the Spinster's PR machine must be fuming. Creating a buzz about a romance between co-stars is how they always push her films. It's not like they've got anything else going for them. But to make that work everyone needs to be on the same page. Unfortunately, Gerry must have called in sick that day.

While Jen's people are busy trying to blow smoke up everyone's ass - like anyone would believe she could bag a hot Scot like that! - Gerry's been chasing tail all over the world. And catching it, if you believe the reports (I do). He has fulfilled his obligations for The Bounty Hunter and he's moving on. He could give a shit less what her publicist wants him to say.

Butler has been linked to countless women, from Lindsay Lohan to Cameron Diaz to even Shanna Moakler; I believe he banged them all thoroughly and lustily, but Maniston? I don't think so. In an interview with The Sun, he insists that they're just friends despite their "natural chemistry" ... and then goes on to say, "But here's the thing - while they're accusing me of being with Jennifer, I've probably been off somewhere else doing damage with someone else." That I believe, certainly more than that crap her peeps are pushing.

Just act casual. No one will suspect a thing.Let's face it. Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler were never really an item. They have/had a movie to promote and that's the Spinster's MO - play it up with a co-star (or paid escort) for the premieres then let him off the leash. They probably threw him a bone for macking it up the way they did. Since a brief and cordial vacation in Mexico they haven't been spotted together.

That's not to say that the Scottish cocksman has been idle. Big dogs, little dogs, short dogs, tall dogs, Gerry's got a leash to fit them all. He looks to be following in the footsteps of Mickey Rourke, who recently bragged of bedding more than a dozen women a night. Butler does appear to have better taste than Rourke, though. According to Hollywood Life, Gerry and Madge got it on at a private Oscars after-party. They didn't leave together, but that doesn't mean anything. They could have met up in the parking lot for a little heel-sit-stay action. I'm sure he brought his muzzle. All good dogwalkers come prepared.

Will anything come of this unusual but saucy pairing? Probably not. Baby Jesus is still buzzing around (and probably still on the payroll) and Butler has said that he won't be ready to marry for another 20, 30 years. Of course by then he'll probably look like Ed Asner, but by then we'll all be over him, too. It all works out.

It burns! It burns!And not only is it tiny, but it won't let him taste the brown sugar. What a sorry-ass misogynist tool.

John Mayer had a recent interview in Playboy where he talked about some of his exes and a few of his complexes. Nothing is sacred with this douchebag. Nothing. Of Jessica Simpson, he said the sex was like a drug or "sexual napalm". Is that supposed to be flattering? Conversely, I guess the sex with Jennifer Aniston must have sucked, because he had nothing but nice things to say about her kindness and sweetness but nothing at all to say about her slamming body or manly hands (reminded him of Butter Boy).

Worse than all of that, though, were John's remarks about Black women. When asked if they throw themselves at the little f**ktard, he admitted that a tiny part of him stood in the way. "I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a f*ckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick." What a douche. I still have absolutely no idea what women see in this asshole. Just when I think he couldn't get any douchier he knocks one out of the park. Mayer has since apologized for his racist remark, but he doesn't care - he got the publicity he wanted, and that's all that counts.