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Even now cannot escape his fatherWill somebody please muzzle Joe Jackson? His latest line of crap is that he had to beat his children to keep them out of gangs. Everyone knows he only beat them when they didn't make enough money for him. I think gang life would have been a welcome respite from life in Joe's house.

What's going on here is really tragic. Joe Jackson tormented the shit out of Michael his entire life. Adding insult to injury, he also had his hand out to him, demanding MIchael support him as he'd always done. It got so bad that Michael cut off all contact with his father, but it was no use, as Mama Katherine allowed Joe to manipulate her so he could still enjoy the lifestyle he has no right enjoying. That Joe Jackson was excluded from his son's estate was no accident or oversight, but Joe will be God-damned if anyone thinks he's gonna take that lying down. He thinks Michael would have been nothing without him, and he may be right, but at least Michael would have had a chance at a normal, happy life.

It comes in handy from time to time. Get it?Wow. That musta been a bitch to Photoshop out.

Seriously, there has been a lot of buzz the last few days about the real reason Megan Fox was dropped from /quit Transformers 3. Management broke the ice by announcing that she wouldn't be returning for the third movie. I couldn't help but notice that nobody seemed to give a shit. Nobody except Megan, that is.

Megan and her peeps quickly shot back that she was not fired, thank you very much, but rather quit. You know, because her career is just taking off like a rocket. Maybe it would if she would just shut up and stick out her titties and ass for the camera (it's all she knows how to do, after all), but she's a silly, vapid bitch who thinks we care what she thinks. We don't.

Which brings us back to the question of who dumped who. Megan was on board as recently as last week. My guess is that the almighty Michael Bay decided he'd finally had enough of Megan and her mouth. She didn't earn any brownie points calling him a Hitler on set, and was reportedly being difficult with crew already, even before production began. Maybe she should talk to her boyfriend about life as a one-hit has-been. Transformers might be the best thing that ever happened to her, and she blew it. Silly, vapid bitch.

Just act casual. No one will suspect a thing.Let's face it. Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler were never really an item. They have/had a movie to promote and that's the Spinster's MO - play it up with a co-star (or paid escort) for the premieres then let him off the leash. They probably threw him a bone for macking it up the way they did. Since a brief and cordial vacation in Mexico they haven't been spotted together.

That's not to say that the Scottish cocksman has been idle. Big dogs, little dogs, short dogs, tall dogs, Gerry's got a leash to fit them all. He looks to be following in the footsteps of Mickey Rourke, who recently bragged of bedding more than a dozen women a night. Butler does appear to have better taste than Rourke, though. According to Hollywood Life, Gerry and Madge got it on at a private Oscars after-party. They didn't leave together, but that doesn't mean anything. They could have met up in the parking lot for a little heel-sit-stay action. I'm sure he brought his muzzle. All good dogwalkers come prepared.

Will anything come of this unusual but saucy pairing? Probably not. Baby Jesus is still buzzing around (and probably still on the payroll) and Butler has said that he won't be ready to marry for another 20, 30 years. Of course by then he'll probably look like Ed Asner, but by then we'll all be over him, too. It all works out.

How you like me NOW?Oh, if this is true it's so not good. But it's not uncommon. A lot of women who've been in abusive relationships gravitate toward the same type of creep over and over again. She's still a young girl, and she might be swept up in the passion of a new relationship and ignoring warning signs of controlling behavior. Not to say that there are signs of trouble, but there was a restraining order granted.

The ex-girlfriend of Rihanna's new guy, Matt Kemp, filed an application for a temporary restraining order against him in 2008, for what her lawyer calls "an actual and real threat". Kemp's peeps are claiming that the ex made it all up, and are implying it's all about the publicity, but her lawyer is quick to deny that. " ... my hope is that Ms. Terrell tells her story, because it is a compelling tale of betrayal, abuse and survival." Sounds like someone's shilling for a movie or book deal here, but it's hard to know what really happened just yet.

For Rihanna's sake I hope this is bullshit. She's been through enough already, and I hope the people around her have the sense to look out for her, and not just be in it for the paycheck.

Well, he's done it again. The Hoff paid a visit to a casino in the Great White North about a week ago. He allegedly got into some kind of altercation with an elderly patron that resulted in David being removed by three security guards - yet he was spotted back at the bar hours later, drinking again. Somehow he avoided yet another trip to the hospital for alcohol poisoning - or they've got him packed into a snowbank somewhere until he sobers up.

There's no word where The Hoff is now, but you can be sure he's either drunk, thinking about drinking or nursing a hangover. Will he ever get clean? It's doubtful. He's a very large man who doesn't take orders from anyone, and he's probably in denial that a problem even exists. He's also probably surrounded by people who egg him on in one way or another.

It's a shame that someone so talented is living like this. The Hoff is an easy target for ridicule, but he has had his successes: Baywatch, Knight Rider and who can forget his monster hit, Hooked On A Feeling? (The video is hilarious.) If he doesn't get his shit together they'll never be able to make the Baywatch movie, and that would be tragic. Pam will never be able to finish her pool now.