Syndicate

Drugs? Where?When I saw this story I felt sick to my stomach. Jenna Jameson has lived a rough life - porn star, addict, perpetual victim - but she seemed like she had settled down with Tito Ortiz, the father of her twins born last year. No one's quite sure what happened yet, but the fallout is getting uglier by the minute.

It all went down sometime Monday morning, when a nasty little marital spat turned violent. Jenna admits to saying "something very hurtful to his ego" (maybe she told him his junk was tiny?); he flipped out and tossed her into the tub, injuring her arm. She called the cops and he was arrested. Tito denies ever laying a hand on Jenna, and claims she hurt herself because she was all f**ked up on OxyContin. Niiiice.

Since the incident Jenna has been flip-flopping in her statements to the press: Tito didn't beat her; he did beat her; he's lying to save his own ass (he could lose his MMA ultimate fighting gig if the domestic violence charges aren't dropped). Sounds like Jenna needs to get away for a while and get her head on straight. Even if there are no beatings or drugs involved, it doesn't sound like a good place to raise two little babies.

Ready for the short busWell, it's about f**king time. I mean, come on. They drank together. They cracked up together. Isn't it only fair that they get treatment together? If one is using and the other isn't, chances are pretty good the one will corrupt the other and then they'd both be in the soup again.

On the heels of the visit by Child Protective Services to their family home earlier this week comes the news that Charlie, like Brooke, has finally entered treatment for his recurring substance abuse problem. Until today Sheen had been dragging his heels, saying he was fine and didn't need rehab but something caused an abrupt change of heart. His rep said the move was "preventive": Does that mean it was to prevent a further investigation and possibly more charges?

This brings us back to the matter of culpability: Charlie and Brooke had been living apart for a few months. They both have drug histories. Did he come to Aspen with a little extra snow for the holidays? Or did Brooke have her own stash and help him jump off the wagon? I mean, he supposedly had a sober minder with him that night. Lotta good that did. Still, they both obviously need to clean up their acts, and at least they're trying. For now. With all the full-time nannies they supposedly have the kids probably won't even realize they're gone.

BrittanyWell that was quick, wasn't it? And unfortunately, it's also not surprisingly in the least. The LA County Coroner has ruled Brittany's death was caused by "community acquired pneumonia, iron deficiency anemia, and multiple drug intoxication", according to TMZ. That pretty much means that like Anna Nicole Smith, Brittany had some serious health issues but the people around her kept her too f**ked up to seek proper medical treatment.

Perhaps that's the real reason Slimy Simon canceled his fundraiser grand opening for his Brittany Murphy Foundation, a new non-profit he's founding with no clear goals or organization but worth, in his mind, $1,000 a plate. Perhaps Simon's thinking about the prescription bottles found with his name on them ... or all those ATM withdrawals investigators may find.

Will Simon, or anybody else, face charges over Brittany's death? It remains to be seen, but obviously someone dropped the ball. I wonder how long it will be before Brittany's mom (and heir) gets sick of his malarkey and sends him to the curb.

Excellent mug shot!Oh, that Charlie Sheen. His personal life is such a godawful mess. He must be such a prince to live with. When he and Denise Richards divorced it was as messy as messy gets, and a lot of people chalked it up to Denise just being who she is, but let's not forget Charlie's penchant for paid cheerleaders - it's how they met, after all. Charlie moved on, impregnating and then marrying Brooke Mueller, but domestic bliss has continued to elude him.

Charlie was arrested in Aspen on Christmas morning for two felony and one misdemeanor charge of domestic violence. He spent most of Christmas Day in jail before bailing out, and probably didn't rush back to his wife. In the midst of all this mayhem it was revealed that Brooke has been living in Colorado in a rented house for the last few months while Charlie stayed back in LA. Is there trouble already? They've only been married a little over a year.

Whatever the case, something caused Brooke to call 911 early Friday morning, claiming her husband assaulted her. He was taken out of the house despite his claims that he was defending himself - and maybe he was. Both Charlie and Brooke were breathalyzed; she came out the winner with a .13 to his .04. At 8:30 in the morning. Now that she's sobered up, she has recanted her claims of abuse, but may face charges herself if cops find she lied. Boy, that Charlie. He sure knows how to bring out the best in a woman.

The WoodsesWell, maybe it didn't happen just that way, but it certainly sounds plausible. Tiger Woods has been dogged this week by The National Enquirer's story about his alleged affair with a brutally ambitious homewrecker. Maybe his gorgeous wife, Elin, chose to do a little shopping and saw the tabloids. Maybe she looked at his phone records and found suspicious activity (he and the slut were supposedly "sexting" frequently). Or maybe she just got pissed because he left the seat up again.

Whatever the reason, the couple apparently had a big argument early this morning that caused Tiger to jump into his brand new Cadillac SUV (what? no Buick Rendezvous?) and flee the property, only to hit a fire hydrant and then a tree when trying to turn onto the street. Tiger had to be taken to the hospital for facial lacerations and was treated and released. His wife reportedly smashed out the window of his car with a golf club - to help him escape. Um, he wasn't even going fast enough to trigger the airbags, but he was somehow trapped in the wreckage? Something ain't right here.